This Week’s Theme: Halloween

This week’s show is all about Halloween. Trick or treat.

Halloween

Historically speaking, the Christian feast of All Hallow’s Day is a holiday dedicated to the remembrance of saints, martyrs, and all other dearly departed. The holiday may have begun as a pagan holiday, but many historians have determined it is a Christian holiday. Halloween is a contraction of All Hallow’s Evening, and occurs the night of All Hallow’s Day. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…sometimes history is boring. Everyone from the age of 3 to 93 knows that Halloween is a holiday with two main purposes: trick or treating by children and partying by adults. Getting dressed up in order to get your hands on candy or alcohol has made Halloween the second most popular holiday in America. Trick or treat!

Halloween Song Selections

Vampires

Vampires have been one of the most popular themes of folklore, books, film, television, and music for hundreds of years. Everyone knows the basics – blood-sucking, flying around as bats, stake through the heart kills them. If vampires were real, I’m not sure they would be as scary as they have been made out to be. From what I know, they can’t come out during the day. That’s easy enough to deal with – get your stuff done during the day and stay in at night. Vampires can’t come in your house if they aren’t invited in, so don’t invite them in. Having lived through the pandemic for almost two years, we’ve all learned one thing for sure – you can live just fine without leaving your house if you have food and supplies delivered and do all of your shopping online. And if all of this isn’t enough to make you feel safe, just remember that vampires can be warded off by garlic.

Vampire Song Selections

Witches

Witches have been given a bad name for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. If you ask me, we need witches now more than ever before. At its core, witchcraft is the ability to bend the rules of the natural world. If humankind is going to survive the climate change that we have created, it seems that witchcraft may be the best solution. I’ve also seen enough Harry Potter films to know that witches can heal people. I’m not sure if witchcraft can cure illnesses such as cancer, but I bet if you get enough witches working together they could probably come up with some cures for Covid and other horrible viruses and diseases. If nothing else, it seems that the world could use some witches just to curse idiots who refuse to accept those who are different than themselves.

Witch Song Selections

Werewolves

Werewolves are really scary, but the fact that they only come out once a month or so makes them pretty easy to deal with. If we were to ever have an actual werewolf crisis in the world, I am sure that we would adapt to the problem with some simple solutions. I would hope that all nations would join together to create an international werewolf registry to allow werewolves to seek safe harbor during full moons. With a little bit of engineering, I’m sure we can keep werewolves safe and comfortable once a month. With some simple structures, we could let them ride out the day away from harm and away from non-werewolf humans so that everyone can live peacefully. We have to remember that being a werewolf is a curse that no one asks for. Anyone who is a werewolf most likely hates the impact it has on their life and would rather not have to deal with it. With just a little empathy and sympathy, I think a werewolf crisis can be managed without ever having to shoot one with a silver bullet.

Werewolf Song Selections

Ghosts, Creeps, and Spooky Stuff

I don’t believe in ghosts. If they were out there we would have proof by now. I can understand how Sasquatch could hide from us out there in the vast wilderness of the Pacific Northwest, and the Loch Ness Monster can hide in the depths of the lake, but ghost sightings are made all over the place, right in the middle of where we all live. If they are that close, we’d have some evidence by now – ectoplasm, photos, videos, something more than the ludicrously unbelievable footage shown on all of those ghost hunter shows. I was once watching a ghost hunter show and they spent ten minutes listening to some weird noises coming from inside the house before someone said out loud “that’s Jerry – he’s setting up cameras for a shoot in the other room.” Give me a break.

Spooky Song Selections

Frankenstein and other Monsters

Monsters are the most misunderstood of all of nature’s creatures. Just because something looks scary doesn’t mean that it is. At their core, most monsters are simply looking for acceptance among those who fear them. Frankenstein’s monster just wanted companionship, Godzilla just needed some space to clear his head, and both King Kong and the Creature from the Black Lagoon were just looking for love. Remember, monsters are just as scared of you as you are of them.

Monster Song Selections

Zombies

Let’s get serious now. Vampires, werewolves, monsters, ghosts – they are just stories we tell to scare ourselves. Zombies, though, I mean, come on. They are scary as hell and we all know they are out there. And don’t believe that Night of the Living Dead zombie propaganda. Zombies are not slow and dimwitted. Zombies are fast, smart, and will kill you before you know what has happened. So what are you gonna do when the zombie apocalypse starts? Board up your windows? Good luck. They’ll break through that easy. Hit them in the head with a baseball bat or golf club? You’ve got to be kidding. Have you ever tried to swing a bat at a swarm of people coming at you full speed without hitting arms and torsos? One miss and you’re done. You can try driving through them in a car, but most likely you’ll lose control and as soon as you aren’t moving they will flip your car over. I wish I knew the answer, but I think the best you can hope for is that there are enough other people around you that you somehow make it past the living dead while they are feasting on everyone else.

Zombie Song Selections

Demons, Death, and The Devil

Every living thing dies eventually. That is the way of life. And no matter what belief system you subscribe to, there is no way to know what comes after death. One thing is for sure though – the last thing you want to see after you die are demons and the devil. If you end up hanging around with demons and the devil after you die, you probably should have made some better choices while you were living. Since you are reading this, I am going to assume you are alive (unless you are a literate zombie) and therefore it is not too late for you. So if you think that there may be a dinner party with some demons in your future, please take a breath, think about your life choices, and try to make amends.

Demons, Death, and the Devil Song Selections

Thanks for listening (and reading)!

Track	Artist	Song Title
1	Midnight in Graveyard with Clock Chime	Sounds of Horror
2	Black Sabbath	Black Sabbath
3	Rush	Witch Hunt
4	John Carpenter	Halloween Theme
5	David Bowie	Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)
6	John Lennon	Scared
7	Jeff Richmond and Tracy Morgan	Werewolf Bar Mitzvah
8	Warren Zevon	Werewolves of London
9	Classics IV	Spooky
10	Gentle Giant	Spooky Boogie
11	The Specials	Ghost Town
12	Alice Cooper (with Vincent Price)	Devil’s Town
13	Michael Jackson (with Vincent Price)	Thriller
14	Bob’s Burgers Cast	I Love You So Much (It’s Scary)
15	First of October	Thirty First of October
16	Big Dipper	Meet the Witch
17	Lou Reed	Halloween Parade
18	Jonathan Richman	Vampire Girl
19	Brandi Carlile	Mama Werewolf
20	Marcy Playground	The Vampires of New York
21	The Soundtrack Orchestra	Tubular Bells (Theme from The Exorcist)
22	Butthole Surfers	Creep in the Cellar
23	The Edgar Winter Group	Frankenstein
24	New York Dolls	Frankenstein
25	The Sonics	The Witch
26	Men at Work	Dr. Heckyll and Mr. Jive
27	Japan	Halloween
28	Blue Oyster Cult	(Don’t Fear) The Reaper
29	Robert Walsh	Telltale Heart (by Edgar Allen Poe)

• Uncategorized